Tech Junkie

Mister A. is finally feeling better today.  The antibiotics are kicking in and his cough is starting to abate a bit.  He has been so pleasant and I will never complain that I have such a happy child.

Today, Mom is more worn down than baby.  I think it is a combination of events and sleep deprivation.  Insomnia is back with a vengeance and the 3 or 4 hours of sleep at night are just not working for me.  When I go to work, it is with bleary eyes and a generally bad attitude.  Good thing I work alone most of the time.  Also, there have been more than a handful of events that have conspired to make me feel less than adequate.  Family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and strangers have all aligned this last 2 weeks and it is getting really exhausting.

I just have a feeling that God is trying to teach me something.  Darned if I know what it is.  Is it to take it on the chin when people are intrusive and rude?  Maybe.  Is it to trust my decisions and not apologize for my little family?  Maybe.  Is it to learn to be a little less sensitive?  Maybe.

But I want to be a sensitive person.  Can I have the sensitivity to know when someone needs help, a listening ear, or a kind gesture without being sensitive when people are mean or thoughtless to me?  I am trying to find a balance.  One of my favorite lines from "You've Got Mail" is "don't take it personally" and when Meg Ryan responds "It may not be personal to you, but it is personal to me."  And she has a point.  What is life if not personal?

Then I am reminded of a friend that once told me, "you are a culmination of your choices.  You are exactly where your choices put you.  If you have personality flaws, you have only yourself to blame.   If you have joys in your life, you have only yourself to thank.  If you are unhappy, fix it.  If you don't want to fix it, shut up about it."

Painful to hear, but perfect.  And, in the words of Sid the Sloth "I choose LIFE!"