Happy Birthday to Me

Happy Birthday to me.

I am in my new place as of tonight.

And tired.

Pictures to follow.

Oh, and wish me luck on the new "Aiden sleeping in the crib" thing.  Again.

Moving

I get the keys to my new place today.  I was anticipating to be one-way excited for this - and I am excited - but the move will be very bittersweet for my little family.  We moved in with Uncle Chris on July 25th of last year and this time has been the happiest in my life - and the most stressful.  Many of you know that the company I was working for shut down six weeks before Aiden was due.  Luckily, old employers helped out, but that was very stressful and I think contributed to the stress of the delivery.  Aiden was born, early and small, but intact and without all the debilitating problems we had anticipated.  Truly a blessing.  During the next two weeks, there were several gang-related activities in the complex I was living in, and Chris graciously offered to have us move in with him until we could find somewhere more appropriate for Aiden.

On July 19th of last year, Aiden went to Primary Children's for emergency surgery on an inguinal hernia that had caused more-than-normal havoc.  After 24 hours, he had not stabilized, so they went back in to see if they had nicked a bowel.  His appendix had burst and he was filling up with infection.  After another emergency surgery, we were at the hospital for another week.  During this time, my family went on vacation - and during that time, Smedleys and Uncle Chris surprised me and moved me from my apartment to my new home.

Chris has given up his home for my little family.  He gave us the master bathroom with the HUGE room, walkin closet and jetted bathtub.  It has been perfection for my family.  We have truly been blessed to be there.  And while I have tried to contribute, Chris has been so tolerant of the crying, barking (yes, the dog was there too...) mess, mess, mess... and has been a blessing for my little man to be with.  He has tolerated baby socks left in the washer and dryer, night terrors at 4am, and another surgery (Aiden's... not mine...), me teaching cello lessons in the living room, and my cooking - probably the worst part of it all.

I guess I am posting this because I love my brother and will never be able to repay him for helping my little family when we needed it.  We are moving to another grand adventure - to which I am hoping we will be successful - and will be happy to involve him in this as well.

We love you!!

Years of Wisdom

Work is hell right now.  That's right.  I said it.  I hate being caught in the middle of drama (necessarily caught in the middle, but caught none the less).  I hate that my friend and co-worker was treated horribly by a very dishonorably evil man.  I hate that an old employee can call you and smile, pick up a paycheck, and destroy your company.  I hate all those things.  And today was the summit of it all.

When I picked up my little man, I realized that every second that I spend on work drama is one second taken away from my son having a happy, attentive mom when I am home.  It is a very hard line to walk but I realized that I have had years of advice from friends, family and enemies.

From my friend Steph: "How much stomach bile and I going to continue to donate to this issue?"  So very, very wise.

From my sister, Kari: "We fought a war in heaven for our agency.  How we choose to use it against others will be our judgment in the eternities."

From Charlee: "Don't be a whiner, Piner."  Ok, that only works for her because her last name is Piner.

From an old psych co-worker: "Oh, pull up your bootstraps cowboy and get gettin'.  Have you ever seen cowboy cry?  Doesn't exactly get the cows moving."  This from a man in a meticulous three-piece suit and spectacles...

From Aaron: "I guess every time I work on something I need to do, I quit digging a hole for myself.  Today I decided to put down the shovel." It all starts by simply putting down the shovel.

From an enemy:  "I hate you.  Half the world hates you.  Take a good look at why we hate you and change.  Or don't.  Your choice."  Okay, I am not stupid enough to think that half the world hates me, but a handful of people do and whether they have justification or not, they have their perspective.  And that is something to look at.

From my Savior. Jesus Christ:  "Peace.  Be Still."  Probably the most profound wisdom of the ages.  Be Still.  More importantly... peace.  

I realized that the malicious and hurtful plans I have for those people who have betrayed my trust do not bring about peace.  I could very easily destroy the professional lives of many people at the end of today, but at what cost?  Peace.

So, I will go to work tomorrow and be still.  Others will do what they will do.  I will leave people to their agency and choices.