Thomas. Always Thomas.

Aiden's favorite song... Down By the Docks.

Notice that he sings every word - but you may not understand it.  

Except the part where Aiden sings (not the real words...):

Down by the docks.

You're never on your bum.

Down by the docks

You're always home from bum.

True boy.  Through and through.

Oh, and the reason he says hi to Jess is because we will be sending this video to our new missionary in the field.  

Hello Goodbye

Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do.  Especially when someone you love is going for a long time to do something very good and very hard.  I find it hard when a 2-year-old doesn't understand that he won't see someone every day that he has been used to seeing since the moment he was born.

Jessica is Aiden's cousin and literally has been there with Aiden from the moment he was born.  She was the first to watch him all day while I flew to Dallas for a job interview - he was 5 weeks old.  She has been there at the hospital for him 3 times... she has been beside him for his best and greatest moments.

She is leaving tomorrow for Rome, Italy for 18 months to be a representative of the Lord as an LDS missionary.  And I will miss her more than I can say.

Today she took Aiden for a "date"... lunch, the park, and a nap together.  She is such an amazing cousin.  They spent the day and evening hanging out.  When I came to pick him up, it was goodbye since we won't be seeing her tomorrow.  We all cried and Aiden wondered why Jessica was crying.  I think that made it harder.  He doesn't understand, but we will make sure he doesn't forget....

Oh, crap.  Now I am crying again.

It doesn't get any better...

The end of a day.  The end of a season and here we are marching steadily to the end of another year.

It doesn't get any better than this.  Better than today.  Nothing.  Better.  Period.

Filling my Soul/Emptying my Soul

Last night, I had the best sleep I have had since Mister was born nearly 2 1/2 years ago.  And this morning I am sad about it.  My normal sleep routine is to put Mister to bed around 8pm, if we are lucky, study or fold laundry, or dishes, or the myriad of other things that must be done to keep a house a home.  Then, bed for me around midnight or 1am.  By that time, Mister has crawled in my bed, sometimes after crying and wandering in for comfort, sometimes stealthily sneaking in before I can notice.  Either way, he is there and thus begins our in-the-dead-of-night ritual.  I am precariously positioned in the far 1/8th of my bed - he the Human Snow Angel, moving, twisting, flailing, and alligator-rolling all night long.  Then, up by 6am and on the go.

Last night was different.  Aiden had a sleep-over with his cousins because I was at symphony rehearsal with a new orchestra.  For some people, a good run fills their souls and for others a beautiful sunset.  For me, a good strong rehearsal and playing in the middle of simultaneous magic is one of the most spiritual experiences for me. I have played with several symphonies in the last 10 years, but this one is different.  Fantastic conductor, professional musicians, horrible chairs, but amazing cohesion like we were all meant to play together - not to mention great music.

It filled my soul.

But, when my soul is filled with this amazing experience, it also empties just a little because I didn't get to be with my Monkey during the tender moments of day's end.  It is what I love above anything else.

In the end, I realized that there is a part of me that is not defined by Aiden and that is a little difficult for me to handle.  While I love him more than my own life, there is a part of me that feels guilty about having interests that are outside of his sphere.  But for a short time - three rehearsals and a concert - it will be worth it.  Because before there was a "we" there was a "me" and it is about time I remembered that, even if it nearly kills me.

Pure Magic

First snowfall of the season.  First time that Mister remembered seeing snow.  Pure Magic.

Halloween 2011

I love, love, LOVE having a toddler!  It is the most fun I have ever had!!  He is such a hoot and I think he is just so fun and curious and takes us all along for the ride.  This year was all about tradition.  Lots of tradition.  So, leading up to the Big Day, we have read Halloween stories, colored Halloween pictures, did pumpkins, made lots of soup and went to a pumpkin patch.

Today, after work, I picked up Mister and we hurried home to change into Aiden's costume.  A pirate.  So awesome.  We went to a Trunk or Treat at a local college.  Fun, but small.  Aiden finally got the hang of saying "Trick or Treat".  Then, up to Smeds for Trick or Treating in my old neighborhood.  This is Aiden's third Halloween and every year, we end up in my old neighborhood.  And each year, we meet up with my nieces and nephews somewhere along the route.

Aiden and his super cool - 2 weeks older cousin, Marshall. 

Hanging out with Jess.  She leaves in 14 days to Rome.  We will miss her tons!

My little pirate.  Oh, sorry.  He is a buccaneer.

Saying, "Arrrrrrgh"

Sitting with "Fee"

This is the house that I grew up in.  Really sentimental for me.  

Ah, the memories.

Then we came to Smedleys house for the traditional "Halloween Fondue" and watching of Clue.  It is tradition, and, frankly, a super-duper fun one. Kari has outdone herself with the cheese fondue this year.  Oh my.  Yumm-o.

Mister had not had a nap all day and, boy! did it show.  He kinda looks like Don Juan when he is not in his pirate costume.  Ah well.  I will leave it on his face just for the night.  

And... to all... good night.

arrrrrrt

When you ask Aiden what a pirate says, he crinkles his little eyes into a sinister sneer and growls, "ARRRRRRT" .  Close enough.  Mister is a pirate this year for Halloween and last year, when he was Curious George, we went to the Dinosaur Park in Ogden for a Halloween trick-or-treat amongst the dinosaurs.  So, this year, we packed up some of his favorite people, donned his best pirate outfit, and headed out.  Check it out...

Breanna was a trooper and dressed up

Ghost Pirate? You decide

The whole gang... Shiree, Breanna, Aiden, Kelle, Jessica and Taylor

Waiting to get in.  Whoa Breanna... Crusty face...

Doin' the sexy pose