I also thought about all the things in my past that have led me to this moment. I thought about my own upbringing, my own choices, and my own thoughts that have made me the mommy that I am. I am the kind of person that has to learn things the hard way.
I needed to have a cheating man to realize the importance of fidelity to me. I had to go through a lot of struggles - years without children, difficult pregnancy and delivery - to understand the struggles of others who do not have children. I had to lose my own mother to realize how influential she was on my life. I had to be an older single woman to learn to love myself and be happy with or without another man.
I may seem jaded with men, but I am not. I love the family I have now and can't imagine adding someone to the mix unless it is someone who can truly have parallel goals. I want someone who is willing to fulfill priesthood callings and responsibilities rather than someone who will sit in the hall while the kids go to Primary. I want a leader, not a liar. I want a man who can be a partner. And I want a great role model to my son.
I want to teach my son to be all of those things. I want to give him the gift of chivalry, of responsibility, of knowing how to treat his "woman" like a queen. A real man paints his daughter's nails and lets her paint his in return (Michael) - a real man understands that a wife loves nothing less than standing all day at the kitchen sink doing dishes - a real man knows how to communicate with a woman and not just shut her out when the going gets tough. A real man wants nothing more than to be a leader, a partner, a provider, and an intricate part of his family life.
One day he will have one of his own:
And what can be better than that?
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