Mother's Day Flowers

This where we spent our Friday afternoon... Thanksgiving Point Gardens.  I love the Tulip Festival and am glad that I spent the time to go there.  I love it.

Noah's Ark in the Children Garden

My lovey boy.

Aiden saying "Wow" when he saw the huge waterfall.  I think it was like a big giant bathtub....

The waterfall.

Need I say more?

There are just some things you can't experience from a stroller.

My little bud among the flowers.

My Mom

I miss my mommy.  There.  I said it.

I know I am a grown woman of 31 (Shhhhhh... almost 32....) and I still need my mother.  A lot.  I wish she was here to give a listening ear and unconditional love.

My life is uncertain at this exact moment and I have a potentially big life-altering thing looming... possibly... with work.  There is nothing I will be able to do to stop it if it comes.

I am packing to get ready to move.  Another move.  Another home.  Another adjustment.

And the insomnia is back with a vengeance.  It seems that just when Mister sleeps through the night, I can not.  The constant sleep deprivation is getting to me.    Day after long day.  Night after eternal night.  The welcome sound of Diet Pepsi is my only salvation.  Six to eight of those just to keep me sane some days.

With Mother's Day this weekend, I think of my mother so much.  I love this year.  Mother's Day means so much more to me.  It will not be a sad day this year like it has been for almost seven years.  It will be happy for me and I will be able to snuggle my little reason I am a mother.  I love being a mother.  I love it more than I ever knew I would.

But I miss my own mother.  I hate that I can't pick up the phone and tell her about Aiden's new top tooth and the other one just about to bust through.  I can't call and cry about my day and have her listen.  I can't look at her patience and understanding when she could look at me and my ONE child and pat my hand with her elegant, veined ones and truly understand because of her eight biological and hundreds of adopted children.  

I think of what she would tell me and I think it would go something like this:

Work is just work.  Just do your best and be honest with it, then it will work out.

So what if Aiden is still co-sleeping?  Who cares if you don't?

You won't sleep.  And that is okay.  Spend the time looking at and bonding with your baby.

The move is good.  You are right to be excited and apprehensive.  Change is hard.

Money is just money.  Spend what you must, save what you can, and let the Lord handle the rest.

Being a mom is about being there and saying I Love You.  

and she would tell me she loves me.

And just when I am feeling down and a little sad, I get a picture of my little man from his cousins who took him shopping today.  And life is good again.

Mother's Day will ROCK this year.

I was born for this

Quiet weekend.  

Mister is teething, but overall happy.  

The crib thing is not going as smoothly as I had hoped, but I will prevail!!

I met Shiree's new gentleman friend and he is nice.  And personable. (and cute...)

I got to watch Robert Downey Jr. again and swooned at the shirtless boxing scene... again.

I packed some boxes to get ready to move.

And I spent wonderful time with my man.  

I was born to be a mom.

Hurts me more than it hurts you

I now know why parents say "This hurts me more than it hurts you."

I am transitioning Aiden from Mom's bed to the crib during naptimes.  I wouldn't do this, except he is crawling all over the bed and traversing the pillow maze to keep him from pitching off the sides of the bed.  He is getting better at it.

Aiden hates his crib.  The first nap was 2 hours of crying and 15 minutes of nap.  The second nap was 1 hour of crying and 1 hour of sleep.  Hopefully, it will be better tomorrow.  It is so frustrating.  I finally put in my ear buds and listened to an audio book.

*Sigh*  Smedleys came over for tacos and pineapple upside down cake.  With whipped cream.  From a squirting can....

Aiden loves when his cousins visit.

200th Post

Can you believe it?  Since my little man went into the hospital for hernia and appendix issues, I have aired my dirty laundry 200 times.  I never thought I would enjoy blogging, but I should have realized that I love journaling. I love taking pictures.  Why not blogging?

My baby is 10 months old today as well.  How did the time fly so quickly?  My heart aches for the time gone by, but it is overjoyed for the little life that I have had the privilege to share.  He learns everyday.  

Today he will crawl.

He was so close yesterday.  On hands and knees, rocking back and forth.  But today is the day.  I can feel it.  This means that our prolonged bubble of non-mobility will end.  You see, a very many different factors have combined to possibly make Mister so he didn't want to crawl:  scar tissue in abdomen from two surgeries (hernia repair and appendectomy), tight neck muscles from tortuculus, boo-boos on his....well, let's just say....scar tissue from his latest surgery, and - I think he just plain didn't want to crawl.  He could have a long time ago.  He had the skills.  We just had to do things on his schedule. 

I see the foreboding of things to come (doing things on his terms and his schedule) - walking later, potty training at 4, and on... and on.  

The thing is... it doesn't bother me.  I am totally okay with him growing and learning at his own pace.  I will do my part.  I will teach and I will guide, but I would prefer not to force when he is not ready.

Someone (okay, my pediatrician) disagrees with me co-sleeping with Mister.  I am of the opinion that he will not need me forever.  He will not want me around forever.  I am going to take advantage of waking up in the night, looking down at my sometimes sleeping baby who only falls asleep when I am cuddling him with his hand on my face, and enjoy every moment.  

Even the tough ones.

Tubeless!

Aiden is now "tubeless"!!!  Yay!  We went to see the doctor yesterday.  Primary Children's Medical Center is one of my favorite places in the world.  I don't necessarily like going there, but if I have to have a child who is in need of the services, I am happy that it is such a wonderful place filled with wonderful people.  I love that everything, even the insides of the elevators, is geared toward children.  Every time we go, it seems we get the Elephant elevator and Mister LOVES it.    

(I wish that the Pediatric Urology waiting room was a little bigger, but I think that is splitting hairs.)  

I must set the scene - Aiden has been on many narcotics which makes him... backed up.  So, we have been supplementing his diet with prune/apple juice... which he loves.  Unfortunately, about 15 minutes before our appointment with the urologist, Aiden had an epic blowout.  So, after changing the diaper, the onesie, the clothes, and - yes- the socks, we went to our appointment only to find that there was another epic blowout surprise 10 minutes later.  

And the antibiotics make everything stink so much worse.  

Dr. Cartwright looked over everything that was impacted by his surgery.  He said the hypospadius repair looks really good, but the stitches not holding things together was not normal or common.  He guesses that the skin had to be moved so far that the edges lost blood supply and simply could not stay alive enough to hold the stitches.  He gave us the same advice as the other day - bathe twice a day, keep moist and clean, vaseline regularly, and wait.  Then he took out Aiden's stent.  Aiden was not happy, but it is done!  It is out!  And it looks... GREAT!!!  

I realized, however, that with the hole moved to where it should be, it means that it is pointed directly at me for diaper changes now.  

Random shots from Sunday!

An ugly beanie hat that came with his giraffe jammies.  The eyes are creepy looking and slightly disturbing.

Helping Mom with laundry.

Reading stories.  This shot was followed by him dropping the book on his face.

love this little man

Great American Pasttime

My favorite sport is Baseball.  Baseball, softball, it doesn't matter.  Aiden wasn't feeling great, but we couldn't resist the tantalizing siren song of the sun.  Breanna and Kelle had a Swing for the Cure softball tournament in Salt Lake City and since we had to be there anyway, we dropped by for part of a game.   With everyone in sunglasses, he was a little freaked out, but had a great time.

Aiden loved being outside (we haven't been able to do that much since his surgery) and I loved the game!  (They won, by the way...)