Phew!

Several people have noticed that I haven't posted in a while.  Well, that's because I thought nothing had really happened to blog about.  But a friend said that as a single mom there must always be something to blog about. And I guess she was right.

So, I thought that today I would write about joy.  There are many emotions that come to mind when someone thinks "single mom", but joy is not usually one of them.  Usually there is anger, frustration, fatigue, guilt, sadness, loneliness, and depression.  I don't want to give anyone the misconception that I don't have those as well, but joy is the rule in my situation, not the exception.

I want to write about how my situation, unique as it is, brings me joy.  If I was on a psychiatrist's couch, I would begin at the beginning.  In the beginning, I chose this journey.  I chose to be a single parent from before Aiden was born.  I had a difficult (not as bad as some) pregnancy and an even worse (again, not as bad as some) delivery.  When Little Man came in to my life, I knew there would be problems.  I was assuming those problems would be much worse than they actually ended up to be and so the joy began the first moments of his life.

I enjoy being a single parent because I don't know anything else.  It is not stressful (most of the time) because I have never had any other way of doing things.  I am sure there are parts of this that would be made so much easier, but I don't have that right now.  So, we proceed the way things are and find joy in the process.

There is a lot of joy in being a parent.  I have experienced joy thousands of times in the past two years.  I have found, however, that joy in parenting is a frame of mind.  For me, choosing to be joyful usually results in having joy - and having a joyful child.  Funny, that.

There are many of small adjustments I have had to make in my parenting and I am FAR from perfect.  (I taught my own son to pick his nose and flick it....)  But when I get to the end of the day and I haven't lost my temper, my son has brushed teeth and warm pajamas on, and I am happy - that is when I feel successful.   When I can look at my son and feel overwhelming joy in the process of being a family, I am fulfilled.

I know that I only have been at this for two years and there are many more stressful situations to come, but I remember a very wise man once said, "No situation was ever bad enough that a bad attitude does not make it worse."  Being full of joy can never be a bad thing.

My pediatrician has a thought above her exam rooms, "Every baby is a good baby.  Every toddler is a riot.  Every child is intelligent and delightful.  Be a joyful parent and this will always be true."  She explained it to me.  Children usually become what their parents project upon them.  If they are frustrated, their children will be frustrating.  If they are angry, their children will push their buttons.  If their parents are happy, their children will be well-adjusted and happy.  It is a cycle.

My mother was happy.  I try to be happy.  I have a happy kid.

Our Grand Adventure Day 2

Because Aiden has NEVER slept in a day in his life, we woke early and had a great breakfast of omelets and hashbrowns.  I loved having a stove to cook with.

Then we packed up the boys and went to Yellowstone!!!!

The view from the passenger's seat.  Ah.  I am home!

Yellowstone Lake 

The Lake Hotel

My guess is Buffalo vs. Car.  Buffalo won.  Check out the horn marks.  Awesome.

No speedometer?  No problem.  There is an app for that.  Yes, we had no speedometer.  But Chris's Iphon app kept pace perfectly.  Whoda thought?

We started our adventure at Fishing Bridge.  I love that place.  Shopping, ice cream (yes, more ice cream at the counter diner) and a really beautiful beach.  I forgot my camera.  The highlight of the trip happened at Fishing Bridge.  Chris found a small puddle.  He decided to jump in it.  Aiden thought that looked like so much fun, so he copied him.  Only he doesn't know how to jump so his attempt looked like a slightly-epileptic chicken dance.  We laughed so hard - as did the people around us.  We let him jump again and again just so we could laugh.

On to the fun!  We are at Old Faithful. When Aiden saw the small steam plume coming from it, he yelled "THOMAS!"  Hilarious.  

Watching the eruption.

After watching Old Faithful, we went to the cafeteria for lunch.  Chris got some creamed spinach with his meal.  I attempted to give some to Aiden.  He tasted.... full body shiver...  looked at me and said, "No GREEN, Mom!"

Then we walked around the hot pots.

After a fun, long day at Yellowstone, we went back for dinner over the fire (hotdogs), homemade potato and fruit salads, and smores.  Aiden played with my phone.  Junkie.

Our camping spot.  It was so beautiful.

The Great Behemoth 

Yes, in fact that is marshmallow on his shirt.  Sicko.

Our Grand Adventure Day 1

We decided because of some circumstances beyond our control - to go camping this weekend.  Uncle Chris bought a really swell motorhome that has everything one could ever desire in a camping vehicle.  Heat, bathtub, air conditioning, potty, lots of beds, fridge... it was awesome.  We packed up and headed out to Grand Teton National Park.  First off, let me preface that driving 6 1/2 hours with a 2 year old was a little intimidating.  Let me also tell you that he was PERFECT!  He was happy, he didn't throw a fit.  6/12 hours of bliss from a toddler.

Be forewarned, there are lots of pictures.  That is because I consider this to be one of the most beautiful places on the earth and I haven't been there for over 10 years.  My heart and soul were refilled with peace when we left.

Aiden did this...

or this through the whole ride.  It was awesome.  He was such a trooper.

One of the famed Jackson Hole arches.

We made it to Jackson Lake! 

We sat at the beach for a long time.  Aiden and I threw rocks into the lake and I enjoyed the memories of my own childhood.

We went to Jackson Lake Lodge for the most delicious dinner (I had the portabello sandwich and Aiden had the best mac and cheese I have ever tasted.) followed by huckleberry ice cream!

In my humble opinion, the most beautiful spot in the whole world.  Right here.  On the deck of Jackson Lake Lodge.

The God Rays came out for only a minute but it was breathtaking

After dinner, we came back to the campground and attempted a hike.  Fully swathed in bug repellent, we still only lasted about 10 minutes because the mosquitoes were so thick!

We are really roughing it!Yes, he is watching Thomas.

The motorhome was fantastic and we bathed little monkey and headed to bed.  Big day ahead!

In my own words...

Yesterday there was a lot of controversy over a certain parent and the death of her child.  I have no opinion on the case, the verdict or the woman in question.  But it got me thinking about being a mom and being a huge fan of all things motherhood.  From my blog, I am sure anyone can guess that I have one main squeeze in my life and he is about 30 inches tall and (jealous) 24.8 pounds.  I would give anything for the health and well-being for this little monkey.  

I also thought about all the things in my past that have led me to this moment.  I thought about my own upbringing, my own choices, and my own thoughts that have made me the mommy that I am.  I am the kind of person that has to learn things the hard way.

I needed to have a cheating man to realize the importance of fidelity to me.  I had to go through a lot of struggles - years without children, difficult pregnancy and delivery - to understand the struggles of others who do not have children.  I had to lose my own mother to realize how influential she was on my life.   I had to be an older single woman to learn to love myself and be happy with or without another man.

I may seem jaded with men, but I am not.  I love the family I have now and can't imagine adding someone to the mix unless it is someone who can truly have parallel goals.  I want someone who is willing to fulfill priesthood callings and responsibilities rather than someone who will sit in the hall while the kids go to Primary.  I want a leader, not a liar.  I want a man who can be a partner.  And I want a great role model to my son.

I want to teach my son to be all of those things.  I want to give him the gift of chivalry, of responsibility, of knowing how to treat his "woman" like a queen.  A real man paints his daughter's nails and lets her paint his in return (Michael) - a real man understands that a wife loves nothing less than standing all day at the kitchen sink doing dishes - a real man knows how to communicate with a woman and not just shut her out when the going gets tough.  A real man wants nothing more than to be a leader, a partner, a provider, and an intricate part of his family life.

One day he will have one of his own:

And what can be better than that?

Happy 4th...

What a beautiful way to celebrate our nation's independence.  I have lots of warm fuzzies about America and the sacrifices that so many have made so I can do what I do.  I remember listening to a radio program that highlighted Iraqi women who were not allowed to drive.  They protested by driving and were jailed for 2 years.  the things that I do every day that I take for granted are here because of the freedoms that were fought for.  A goal in my life is to teach my Mister the importance of patriotism.

We didn't really know how Independence Day would play out.  Just the day before, he had thrown up really badly at another family function.  Danger...

For the celebration part, we went up to my old neighborhood for a tradition that goes back further than I can remember - probably before I was born.  My old neighbors get together for a Bishop's breakfast early.  This year, Shiree played her bagpipes to help celebrate.

Aiden "helping" Shiree play her bagpipes! 

We skipped the city parade in exchange for a nap and watching Star Trek with Uncle Chris.  Then off to Rays for another 4th of July tradition - BBQ and swimming!!  Aiden looks like he was in agony after the slide, but he was just a little cold.  Poor bug.  Lisa's pool is usually the heat of a cool hot tub, so he warmed up quickly.  After he just couldn't take swimming any more, he went to the sandbox and loved every minute of it.  Then, we played pool!  

A few brave people in our family playing Chicken Wars.  The younger boys took turns mooning us as they were diving off the diving board.  

Stu helping him with the cue.  He was a maniac!!

Finally, the extended family decided to go to Morgan for the fireworks and a concert.  My little man had not been feeling well for a couple days anyway, so the thought of a tired, sick toddler sitting for 2 hours during a concert was just not going to happen.  So we went to the Layton castle to watch the fireworks in the valley.  Even that didn't last long.  We got in the car and headed home before they started... only to find that the best seat to see fireworks was in our front yard.  

He was asleep before we even pulled out of the parking lot of the castle.

OH!  and I made a pie.  Cute, eh?