Living Alone

I am learning to live alone again.  I guess alone is not the right word since I am living with my beautiful boy and the dog.  But alone, nonetheless.

I am remembering quickly what makes it ok to be alone.  I don't mind it, but it can be easy to get into a rut.

I have learned that having a schedule is important.  Ours goes like this:

2:00ish - pick up Mister from Kari's house.
2:30pm - lay down with Mister for a nap
4pm - play with Mister and put in a load of laundry
5pm - take Mister for a walk.  Change laundry
6pm - eat my dinner and clean it up
6:30pm - play with Mister.  Usually this is our book time.
7:30pm - bathtime.  This is imperative.  If Mister doesn't get a bath, he does not sleep well and Mom feels like a bad mom.
8:00pm - the remainder of the 5 B's (we have already done the first - bath...)  Then comes bottle, brush, books, bed.  We read a lot of stories and it helps to slowly lower my voice until we read Nigel the Sneaky Sheep in a whisper.  Luckily, Mister loves to bathe, brush his teeth, and read books.
9pm - Change laundry, iron, clean dishes, sweep, scrub, wash, dust... anything that needs to be done around the house...  This is my time.  Blog.
11pm - bedtime for Mom.

The other part of living alone that is important is to take pride in the home.  I know that no one ever really comes to see my home, but I love to take pride in my home.  More and more now that I have a little Mister.

I have learned that I have to learn to love being by myself.  I used to see movies alone, eat out alone, and other things that usually are done with more than one person.  I loved it.

I love being alone, but it will take some getting used to.

The weekend

Sorry it has been a while.  It has been a long weekend.  I moved and unpacked all weekend.  The good news is that I am in my new place.  And I like it.  The bad news is that it is really quiet without Chris - and I worry about him - and my boys haven't found their schedule and haven't figured out this is their new home.

My family is the most amazing team I have ever known.  Between Thursday and Saturday - between the Smedleys, Chris, and Mike and Amanda (and Gracie helped too...), everything is in, most is unpacked, and I am ready to begin a new chapter of life here.

I don't have curtains up nor pictures hung, so I will wait to post pics, but there were plenty of other things that were wonderful this weekend.

The dishwasher overflowed with bubbles.  Aiden was so lucky!!

My two boys getting used to their new home!

Saturday was my birthday - and "heavy thing moving day".  It started off with me getting everything moved in with my family.  Then a shower. Then the afternoon with Kari - including new knives and Thai food.  YUM!!

Today was grocery shopping at 6:30 (because Aiden woke up early...), a trip to the cemetery to visit Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa... then shower and dashed off to see Shiree play in her pipe band for a Memorial Day program.  Wow.  It was so cool.

See Shiree?  Sweetness.

Aiden and Jessica having a great time at the Memorial Day ceremony.

Then we had a nap.  Much much needed nap - for 2 hours.  Didn't even phase my fatigue.  Then off to Mike and Amanda's for a great barbecue and time by the fire pit.  Aiden had the treat of a animal cookies.  It was great.  He was FILTHY!  He loved it.

Now off to bed.

Happy Birthday to Me

Happy Birthday to me.

I am in my new place as of tonight.

And tired.

Pictures to follow.

Oh, and wish me luck on the new "Aiden sleeping in the crib" thing.  Again.

Moving

I get the keys to my new place today.  I was anticipating to be one-way excited for this - and I am excited - but the move will be very bittersweet for my little family.  We moved in with Uncle Chris on July 25th of last year and this time has been the happiest in my life - and the most stressful.  Many of you know that the company I was working for shut down six weeks before Aiden was due.  Luckily, old employers helped out, but that was very stressful and I think contributed to the stress of the delivery.  Aiden was born, early and small, but intact and without all the debilitating problems we had anticipated.  Truly a blessing.  During the next two weeks, there were several gang-related activities in the complex I was living in, and Chris graciously offered to have us move in with him until we could find somewhere more appropriate for Aiden.

On July 19th of last year, Aiden went to Primary Children's for emergency surgery on an inguinal hernia that had caused more-than-normal havoc.  After 24 hours, he had not stabilized, so they went back in to see if they had nicked a bowel.  His appendix had burst and he was filling up with infection.  After another emergency surgery, we were at the hospital for another week.  During this time, my family went on vacation - and during that time, Smedleys and Uncle Chris surprised me and moved me from my apartment to my new home.

Chris has given up his home for my little family.  He gave us the master bathroom with the HUGE room, walkin closet and jetted bathtub.  It has been perfection for my family.  We have truly been blessed to be there.  And while I have tried to contribute, Chris has been so tolerant of the crying, barking (yes, the dog was there too...) mess, mess, mess... and has been a blessing for my little man to be with.  He has tolerated baby socks left in the washer and dryer, night terrors at 4am, and another surgery (Aiden's... not mine...), me teaching cello lessons in the living room, and my cooking - probably the worst part of it all.

I guess I am posting this because I love my brother and will never be able to repay him for helping my little family when we needed it.  We are moving to another grand adventure - to which I am hoping we will be successful - and will be happy to involve him in this as well.

We love you!!

Years of Wisdom

Work is hell right now.  That's right.  I said it.  I hate being caught in the middle of drama (necessarily caught in the middle, but caught none the less).  I hate that my friend and co-worker was treated horribly by a very dishonorably evil man.  I hate that an old employee can call you and smile, pick up a paycheck, and destroy your company.  I hate all those things.  And today was the summit of it all.

When I picked up my little man, I realized that every second that I spend on work drama is one second taken away from my son having a happy, attentive mom when I am home.  It is a very hard line to walk but I realized that I have had years of advice from friends, family and enemies.

From my friend Steph: "How much stomach bile and I going to continue to donate to this issue?"  So very, very wise.

From my sister, Kari: "We fought a war in heaven for our agency.  How we choose to use it against others will be our judgment in the eternities."

From Charlee: "Don't be a whiner, Piner."  Ok, that only works for her because her last name is Piner.

From an old psych co-worker: "Oh, pull up your bootstraps cowboy and get gettin'.  Have you ever seen cowboy cry?  Doesn't exactly get the cows moving."  This from a man in a meticulous three-piece suit and spectacles...

From Aaron: "I guess every time I work on something I need to do, I quit digging a hole for myself.  Today I decided to put down the shovel." It all starts by simply putting down the shovel.

From an enemy:  "I hate you.  Half the world hates you.  Take a good look at why we hate you and change.  Or don't.  Your choice."  Okay, I am not stupid enough to think that half the world hates me, but a handful of people do and whether they have justification or not, they have their perspective.  And that is something to look at.

From my Savior. Jesus Christ:  "Peace.  Be Still."  Probably the most profound wisdom of the ages.  Be Still.  More importantly... peace.  

I realized that the malicious and hurtful plans I have for those people who have betrayed my trust do not bring about peace.  I could very easily destroy the professional lives of many people at the end of today, but at what cost?  Peace.

So, I will go to work tomorrow and be still.  Others will do what they will do.  I will leave people to their agency and choices.  

Mama, Moterbikes, Moving

Aiden said MaMa!  Yay!  Finally!  I heard it clear as day yesterday while he was pointing straight at me.  Oh, I love it.  He is learning to communicate and show his moods over the last week or so.  He is putting all the words together with the meanings.  He doesn't like "No."  When I say that to him, he covers his face with his hands and puts his head down.  Luckily, he is a good enough boy that I don't have to say it that often.

For the last two days, I have been packing in anticipation for the big move next weekend.  Amanda said it best "Don't you hate the junk drawer stuff that you have to box up that you didn't know how to box up in the first place and you don't know how to unpack it?"  I love my family who are always awesome...

And Uncle Chris bought a new motorcycle yesterday.  It looks so hot!!!

So today, we went with Uncle Chris to the Harley shop to be able to find some cleaning stuff, but it was PACKED.  I guess they were giving away a 2010 bike.  It was fun to see all the kinds of people who ride.  More diverse than one would think.

This weekend, we also helped Aunt Kari clean out her car.  

The Walk Part 2

My goodness.  There are just some things that you can't see from a couch.  I live in a beautiful place with beautiful nooks and crannies.  During our 3 mile walk today, these are just a few things we found.  I am sad to be leaving this beautiful home for a smaller place of my own, but it is time.

I will just have to find beautiful things there as well.

(sorry. Aiden hit the camera just as I snapped this.  Turn your head 45 degrees to the left...)

This lilac bush was beautiful.

Hard to see.  A full orchard or cherry blossoms.  They smelled AMAZING!