Freedom

This morning, I was in my usual Monday morning mood.  Tired.  Wanting the weekend back, grouchy that my son slept as I carried him to the car and didn't have his usual "Good Morning, Mom" grin on his cute little mug.  As I drove my 45 minutes to work, I had my usual time to think.  Yes, the radio was on, but I wasn't really listening.  I never do.  I just think on my way to work and gear up for the week/day ahead.

It hit me this morning that something and someone who has been in the back of my mind as an annoyance and a heartache for many, many years - a decade or two-  is no longer there.  When I think of this person, my heart doesn't immediately sink to the pit of my stomach and the rage and unjustice doesn't rain around me.  My heart hurts for those in this person's life who continue to be poisoned or manipulated, but it doesn't effect me any more.  Not even a little bit.

I had heard once that forgiveness isn't admitting the other person is right - it is releasing you from their pain.  I found it to be the happiest sense of freedom I have ever felt.  I felt like I was on a runner's high (okay, okay, you cynics... I am a fat gal who can't even walk far, so I really don't know what it feels like, really, but the analogy is what's important.  :) ).

I love this freedom.  I will try to have it with all the emotional leeches in my life.  Luckily, the people who surround me at this point of my life are generally really supportive and wonderful.

Except Sam.  Who bailed on sushi last week.  

May the magic Saki fairy make your next sushi roll less than fresh.